Post by Piggles on Nov 8, 2005 7:01:30 GMT
Believe it or not I have made many more "goodbye" posts on guild/clan forums than apologies, so please try to bear with me on this one. Actually, I left my last 2 Mechwarrior clans as a result of similar situations. I've lost many good friends that way.... friends that at one point i said to myself "these guys are so great, i'll prolly be stuck with em for many years to come ^^". Well, shit has happened and those friends have long since all but faded from my memory. I dont like to admit it but it is true that i have participated in many arguments with good friends over stupid things in my past, enough times that i've come to recognize when my actions are none worth fighting for or even acknowledgement in my own mind. Apologizing is an extremely foreign territory to me but i'll try the best i can because i dont want this guild to simply fade from my memory....
Elminster, you and i talked about this in-game but long guild-chat conversations tend to get confusing so if you have anything else to add please add it now.
Freya, I regret blaming you for your own death in tarkan. I should not have run off on my own like i did, but i hope you can at least understand why i did that. Despite the reasons, I am aware that they do not validate what i did.
Perl: Like i said, i think this would have gone over a lot better had u received the letter i typed up. Like i said, the letter did not send due to what i think was a bug having to do with the server being about to shut down (for maintanence). I clicked send a few times, but nothing happened. I took an SS of it in the hopes that i would later be able to re-type it, but after the maintenence i procrastinated re-typing it since i thought i could just talk to you that night anyway if you and/or elm ever got online. I know you dont believe i typed it in the first place but for what it's worth, here's that SS: i13.photobucket.com/albums/a290/Daminox/Screen11_07-18_01-0000.jpg
Yesterday i called you a liar on these forums. I am aware that you deny such allegations. I want you to understand that i called you a liar because a few times you have told people simple little things that were simply not true. Apparently this is a part of your sense of humor that i was not aware of. One example was that yesterday someone got online and asked you if u got ur wings yet. You, in a completely serious tone and pretext, said "no, i still need to do some hard leveling". At the time, you had your wings at least 24 hours. I informed this person that you were lying and that was that. This is the exact example i was referring to in my post when i said i was annoyed to have to clear up little things like this with those you have lied to. A similar little lie was told by you to myself in reference to the XP in tarkan, only it was cleared up at the most inopportune moment possible: during our party in tarkan.
Wether it was sarcasm or not is unimportant to me. I was very angry at the time and i decided to lash out in inappropriate ways. For this i apologize, and if it helps you decide wether or not to accept my apology then i hope you can at least understand why i said the things i did. Again, this in no way makes what i said right.
Bori: My only apology to you is that im sorry to have wasted your time by breaking the party in tarkan. You have a right to be disappointed in me and the way i acted.
To everyone: The poll i posted was in response to Elm's comments that everyone in this guild is disappointed in the way i act at parties. While i made the poll in blind anger and retaliation, it does have truth to it in that i hope in the future everyone in this guild excercises the right to inform me when i am acting like a jerk or being selfish. I try my best to be neither of these but i would like nothing more than for my friends to let me know when i have let myself slip, both to make strides toward better self-improvement and to keep myself from hurting other people's feelings. I owe you all an apology for what i said and how i acted, and i regret you had to see me at my personal worst.
P.S.
I know the sincerity of my apologies are in question, but everyone has every right to choose if they are false or indeed sincere. Posting this has lifted a great weight from my chest, but this weight still lingers above me should my efforts to make amends with my friends be ignored.
Elminster, you and i talked about this in-game but long guild-chat conversations tend to get confusing so if you have anything else to add please add it now.
Freya, I regret blaming you for your own death in tarkan. I should not have run off on my own like i did, but i hope you can at least understand why i did that. Despite the reasons, I am aware that they do not validate what i did.
Perl: Like i said, i think this would have gone over a lot better had u received the letter i typed up. Like i said, the letter did not send due to what i think was a bug having to do with the server being about to shut down (for maintanence). I clicked send a few times, but nothing happened. I took an SS of it in the hopes that i would later be able to re-type it, but after the maintenence i procrastinated re-typing it since i thought i could just talk to you that night anyway if you and/or elm ever got online. I know you dont believe i typed it in the first place but for what it's worth, here's that SS: i13.photobucket.com/albums/a290/Daminox/Screen11_07-18_01-0000.jpg
Yesterday i called you a liar on these forums. I am aware that you deny such allegations. I want you to understand that i called you a liar because a few times you have told people simple little things that were simply not true. Apparently this is a part of your sense of humor that i was not aware of. One example was that yesterday someone got online and asked you if u got ur wings yet. You, in a completely serious tone and pretext, said "no, i still need to do some hard leveling". At the time, you had your wings at least 24 hours. I informed this person that you were lying and that was that. This is the exact example i was referring to in my post when i said i was annoyed to have to clear up little things like this with those you have lied to. A similar little lie was told by you to myself in reference to the XP in tarkan, only it was cleared up at the most inopportune moment possible: during our party in tarkan.
Wether it was sarcasm or not is unimportant to me. I was very angry at the time and i decided to lash out in inappropriate ways. For this i apologize, and if it helps you decide wether or not to accept my apology then i hope you can at least understand why i said the things i did. Again, this in no way makes what i said right.
Bori: My only apology to you is that im sorry to have wasted your time by breaking the party in tarkan. You have a right to be disappointed in me and the way i acted.
To everyone: The poll i posted was in response to Elm's comments that everyone in this guild is disappointed in the way i act at parties. While i made the poll in blind anger and retaliation, it does have truth to it in that i hope in the future everyone in this guild excercises the right to inform me when i am acting like a jerk or being selfish. I try my best to be neither of these but i would like nothing more than for my friends to let me know when i have let myself slip, both to make strides toward better self-improvement and to keep myself from hurting other people's feelings. I owe you all an apology for what i said and how i acted, and i regret you had to see me at my personal worst.
P.S.
I know the sincerity of my apologies are in question, but everyone has every right to choose if they are false or indeed sincere. Posting this has lifted a great weight from my chest, but this weight still lingers above me should my efforts to make amends with my friends be ignored.
;D
